Secret
by scorpquintis
Summary: Set after Reade's proposal / or / who a drunk Tasha call to talk.


So I translate one of my Blindspot fanfiction, ( it's the first time I post in English ...)

This work has been kindly corrected by a friend.

Hope you will like it.

" **You've reached Kurt Weller's voicemail, please leave a message after the beep"… BEEP…**

 **When his phone rung, Kurt was quietly settled in front of his television watching a cooking show. He made no effort to get up, simply waiting to hear the message**.  
 _– Kurt, I… I… I am in a… In a bar… _ _  
_ **As soon as he had heard his friend's voice, Kurt did not hesitate to pick the phone.**__

– _Tasha? Did something happen? Are you in trouble?  
– Kurt? No, don't worry, I'm fine, but um… I'm bored here, I… I would like you to join me.  
– Tasha, are you drunk?_

 _– _No…__

– _How many glasses have you had?  
– Not enough! Come on, it will be fun!_

 **Kurt sighed, he was used to picking her up at bars, but that was before. Before, when everything went badly, no matter how drunk she was, he had been there to help her. He would take care of her and the next morning at work he would pretend as if nothing had happened the night before. But today, his friend had a new life, she did not bet anymore and seemed to have a better life. He did not understand why she had suddenly started to drink again.**

 **Beside his reflections, it did not take him long to write down the address hardly said by the young woman, take his coat and join her.  
When he got there, he found his colleague rested against the bar. He sighed when he saw that she was still ordering drinks. **

– _Tasha, it's enough, come on, we are leaving._ **He tried hard to pull her toward him, but she did not budge.  
** – _Hey, calm down ! Take a seat, take a drink, and enjoy the night!  
– No, it's enough alcohol for you! _**He said, trying to take her glass.**

– _You are no fun!_  
– _You know what, you're right, we are gonna take a drink, relax… But at my place, it's nicer, isn't it?_  
 _– Aaaaah…_ _This_ _… is an excellent idea Mister Welleuuur._ **She said, laughing.**

 **Kurt paid the really high bill, and helped Tasha to his apartment. Once they arrived, he sat her on the couch and brought her a glass of water**. **Then, he settled by her side, in an effort to engage her in conversation. As soon as he sat, Tasha laid her head on his shoulder.**

– _Why are you doing to yourself, Tasha? I thought you were better._

 **She tried not to answer, but her friend would not leave her like that, not without having a talk.**

– _Natasha, I asked you something!  
_ **She hated when someone used her name as a threat, because every time she heard it in that tone, she heard her mother saying she deserved nothing. He knew, for sure, what hearing her first name made to her. But he also knew that it was the best way to make her react.**

– _I don't want to talk about it Kurt._  
– _You had to think about it before calling me!_  
 **Tasha sighed.**  
– _First, what were you doing in this bar? It's far away from your place.  
– Reade chose it_ _ **,**_ **she said with an empty look** _._

– _So he is the problem…_

– _He wanted to celebrate his proposal…_  
 **Kurt immediately understood. Even if Tasha knew pretty well how to hide her feelings, some signs did not deceive. That, plus the fact that Patterson had subtly tried to talk about it with him.**

 **However, he did not know what to say to make her feel better. With everything else he was good, but love was not exactly his specialty.**

 **Not knowing what else he could do, and thinking it was a good idea, he tried to make her talk.  
** – _And you decided to extend the night alone …  
– Hum hum… _**Tasha closed her eyes**.

 **Seeing that only talk about obvious fact would lead to nowhere, he tried again to make her react** :

– _Reade is a jerk_! **He exclaimed .  
The young Hispanic agreed. Not having any reaction from her, worried Kurt even more. His friend was really down, he had never seen her that much unreactive. He decided to change the strategy so that she could rest a moment. **

– _What about you, me and a movie_? **Kurt asked**.  
– _If you want…_ **Tasha answered emotionless.**

 **The movie slowly started. It was a stupid love story, but which perfectly fitted with Tasha's situation. Scenes were scrolling, the alcohol was dissipating little by little. At the end, when the heroine got married to her first love, Kurt saw tears, quietly flowing in the Hispanic's face.  
He delicately put his arms around Tasha's shoulders and moved her closer to him. Tasha stuck even more and put her head against his chest. While he whispered that everything would be ok, Tasha's tears doubled.**

 **They stayed in that position for a while. One being moved, and the other letting out all the grieve kept in for weeks.**

 **Both weren't really tactile, so they would have easily been uncomfortable with this sudden closeness. Nevertheless, they needed it. Kurt was saddened to see her friend's face soaked with tears. He wiped any tears left with his thumb.**

– _Thanks,_ **she whispered.  
Kurt made his «I didn't do anything » smile. She smile in response.  
**– _I mean, thanks for everything…_ **Her sentence stood unsettled for a moment, the words were said with difficulty, interrupted by sobs**. _I've never thanked you for your help, I mean, all these years you have been with me despite my humor, my remarks…  
_ – _Always Tash_ , **he said, putting back some hair behind her ear.**

 **She smiled again. Kurt thought she had a beautiful smile**.  
– _I don't understand…_ **He thought louder than he wanted to.  
** – _What_ _ **?**_ **Asked Tasha, intrigued by his seriousness**.

– _How can he not see what he has_ **!**  
 **Tasha looked away, flattered and embarrassed at the same time. She did not want to talk about that with him. After all, he was like a brother to her, and she was not talking about love with him.**

 **However, she also knew that she had to stop hiding her feelings. She had bottled it up too many times and one day, she would explode under the pressure. And this "explosion" could destroy everything.**  
– _It's not only that Kurt.  
– Then explain! I'm here Tasha, you know it. I will be here whatever happens._  
 **His look pierced the young woman's shell. For a second, she could have said everything. About CIA, about Dragonfly and about everything she had to do these last two years. But she immediately imagined his look after her revelations. A mixture of disappointment and disgust. She needed everything but that.**

 **Then, as always, she retracted at the very last moment.**

– _You know I really want to Kurt, but…_

– _Damn it Tasha, you need to talk !_

– _It's confidential…_ **She said hardly**.

– _Then talk about what you can, about Reade for example_ ! **He said, a little disappointed not to have heard what troubled her.  
** – _I missed the chance, it's too late now.  
–It's never too late Natasha!  
– Don't call me like that!_ **The young lady shouted**.  
 **Kurt sat down in front of her, and took her hands in his. In a normal moment, this gesture would have been strange for both of them, but right now things were different. The atmosphere was not the same.**

– _Tasha you really have to get your act together. Being drunk and depressed is not going to help matters! It has never brought you what you wanted and it will certainly never give you the life you dream of. The life you deserve.  
– So what? I should break a couple for my happiness? Meg is a nice person. She deserves a good life, maybe even more than I do._

 **Kurt raised his eyes after this last sentence**.  
 _– I didn't tell you to break them up, just to confess your feelings to the man you love. You never know what might happen next... Maybe Meg is second choice for him._

– _I don't know Kurt, but nobody gets married to their second choice. And I don't want to lose everything, to lose him. Maybe I'm not even a choice._

– _What if I talk to him…_ **He asked**.  
 _– No thanks… Eh, it's nice, but my former boss speaking with my new « Boss » about the way I feel about him… It would be annoying!  
_ **She laughed by imagining their faces. Kurt did the same, happy to be able to make her laugh. Nevertheless, he thought again about what she was hiding. Tasha continued,**

– _You know that I really want to tell you everything, Kurt… But this is ..._

– _Complicated,_ **he said** , _I know. Can you please just reassure me, tell me that you are not putting yourself in danger._

 **Tasha looked down. It's obvious that I put myself in danger, she thought, I put all of us in danger with my bullshit. Please don't judge me Kurt, I beg you, help me ! Save me ! Save us ! Save the team !**

 **Once again, she fought the urge to tell him, but she knew that she could not.**

– _No... Of course not_. **She sadly smiled.**

 **She could not swear, not again. She could not promise anything wrong, not this time.  
Kurt knew she was lying. It was her look which has betrayed her. It always had.  
But he decided not to tell anything. He silently swore not to let her down when the truth came out. Even if he did not like it. **

**They fell asleep on the couch in each others embrace.**

 **When she woke up, Tasha found a glass of water, medicine and a note.**

– _Have some rest, for as long as you need!_

 _I told the team you were sick._

 _Take all the time you need._

 _Kurt._

 **Tasha smiled, she knew that his last sentence had nothing to do with the night before. However, she also knew what she had to do. She made her decision the day she joined the CIA.**

 **Yes ! Nothing else would make her doubt, now she was sure of it, she would not say anything.**


End file.
